Grieving My Mama

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Yesterday, I wrote about my super creative grandmother, Mama Kathlyn. And she is still on my mind today so I wanted to write some more about her here in this space as a part of my grieving process.

I really miss her. I continue to grieve her loss and that is ok. Grief is a process and not a one time event. I think I grieve her loss even more this year now that I have come out of the denial of my abusive past. I hadn’t realized until the last few months just how safe and special my grandmother was for me during that abusive time growing up.

Ruby was her first name, but she always went by Kathlyn. I wonder why she chose her middle name to go by. I wish I could have asked her. There are so many other questions I wish I could have asked her knowing what I do now. I suspect I am remembering her at this time because our bodies never lie. My body is reminding me that she passed away 4 years ago this month…close to Easter time, her favorite time of the year.

A silent moment for Mama…tears.

So, I am going to continue to think about her today, remember her comfort and peace, and use my gratitude to thank her for all those wonderful memories which I wrote about in yesterday’s post.

I think of her every time the wind chimes sing in the breeze from the backyard tree. The chimes are pictured above. The beautiful thing is that the tree that these chimes hang from is completely dead except for the chimes that bring this tree a bit of life.

Until tomorrow…Bethie